I was blog hopping just now and I something came upon my mind: How come some people have soo much free time to go out and shop and everything, yet they're scoring so well acadamically? I wanna be like that tooo. (:
My dad just msged me just now.
Before that he was telling me that he will be waiting for at macs today, I told him I couldn't make it...
Dad: Don't tell me all sundays you can't make it? This is court order. I will talk to the lawyers, don't force your daddy to go the family court to apply for another court order, it will not be good for you and me. Just tell me when you are available if not you cannot make it sunday. Daddy loves you, ok...
I intended to reply:
ME: Don't use the court order to push me. It won't work. I'm old enough to decided if I want to meet you. And the fact is I DON'T WANT TO. I rather go for counselling than to meet you. I didn't force you to apply for another court order. You want to make it a tough situation then jolly well go and apply for another order. I'm fine with it.
My mom told me not to msg him back, so I didn't. And I was kinda furious and quite inspirational so I decided to write another long essay to reply his message.
COURT ORDER?! Are you sure you have the rights to me talk about court order? Don't use the court order to push me, I'm sorry but it's not going to work on me. My damn father taught me how to NOT FOLLOW the court order, and that's the only thing I think he taught right. Don't you use court order to push me cause my damn father told me not to follow the order. (:
Not following the court order in the right circumstances is coooll!
My teacher ever told me that "Daddys are the good examples in life you should follow." And I'm following you, isn't that great! You should be happy I'm actually looking up to you as a example in life.
I just hope that my life won't be a disaster if I actually follow you.
And you know what? I have phobia of you. So that makes a good reason why I shouldn't meet you. My life will be in a great danger okay! Do you wish to see your daughter die out of fear because of YOU! You're going to be guilty all your life. So I advice you NOT to risk my life. (:
I'm actually quite happy someone actually is "DYING" to see me. That's a great honour, but if the person is you, I guess it isn't an honour anymore. Whatever it is, I thank you for wanting to see me so much. Awwww. THANK YOU SO MUCH. but I shouldn't risk my life for such useless meetups. I won't gain anything from it.
Time is money, I have no money but I have time. You are wasting my time, which is equivelant to wasting my money.
If you want to apply for another court order, go ahead with it. I don't see any point where I am wrong. I didn't force you to make it a tough situation, you did. I don't mind being in a tough situation since I've been stuck in it for a long time, it doesn't make a difference to be in it any longer. Don't worry, I'm numb and I won't feel anything. All I'm worried is that you're going to feel guilty conscience when it's time for you to go. ); It's sad to see you like that you know. I leave you the choice to make it a tough situation or not. It's your choice and my fate. "If you love me, then let me go." "Love doesn't mean you have to meet him/her everyday, It's just to see her/him happy." Please refer to the quotes. THANK YOU.
You want to make it a tough situation, then jolly well go ahead. I'm fine with it. (:
The tone of the whole 'essay' is SARCARSTIC.
I feel so much better typing out how I feeel. I know what some may say. I shouldn't be this bad to my dad, but will you consider what he did to me first? (:
I thought of you 4 times today.
FRIDAY THE THIRTEEN.
Today was both a good and bad day. Let me say the good first.
I cried for more than an hour yesterday. (it's a good thing!) and talked to qing. Felt so much better today. My recent moodswings were gone.
Vivien was angry with Qing and I. I can see that from her actions. She's ignoring me and talking to Sher (whom she doesn't like.) At least let me know what's happening right? She's just angry for no reason. At least I need to know the damn reason. She went with Mei Ee and Mable instead. );
Sher told me about Vivien's blog. I read it, it was saddening. I cried once again for friendship problems. (yesterday was qing, today is vivien. wlao. crying marathon ah.)
But then Vivien IS still angry with us for the PW thing. Wlao, I didn't know it mattered so much to her. What's her problem lah. If she wanna go out with her friends then just tell us "I NOT FREE." then we'll understand. By saying "Can i not go? I wanna go out with them." makes it as if you wanna go but don't wanna go. And she's now pissed with us cause we asked her to go. It's just a small problem okay! I know you wanna go out with them, then say lah! plus you said you didn't know how to go home from there. It's obvious you wanna go out with them right? Don't need to throw tantrums with us right! I was so silly to cry for her.
Crying over someone who doesn't even wanna explain to us why she's angry, why bother?
I changed when she said we left her out. I tried to be close to her, wasn't it enough? I invited her out when I go with Esther and Qing (supposedly, but esther didn't make it.). Like helllooo, you rejected us! You decided to stay at home. Didn't ask you out for gym, then we asked you. You rejected. PEARLYN & FRIENDS MORE IMPORTANT LAH. The thing is that they're not in the same class as you! You feel left out too, right? I know that. You told me " I don't feel like I fit in anywhere." You're supposed to try to fit in? If not you'll not be able to be in anywhere. Stubbornness won't help you.
You're fun and nice to be with, but you're not a good team member.
I thought I was gonna have someone else to share my woes. I was wrong. Before I could put my trust into you, you decided not to be the one to hear my sorrows. FINE. I never talked bad about you like seriously. At most "Vivien's mouth very big leh. Tell them that that that." That's all. But I understand PEARLYN & FRIENDS are more important. FINE. I was pissed when you told them OUR secrets, but I was fine with it. Now? You're angry cause we need to do PW? Okay, FINE. It's just cause you can't go out with them! What the big problem?! Not like you don't go out with them right. I was pissed for awhile, I tried to make it NOT OBVIOUS TO YOU that I was pissed with you cause I wanted to save our friendship.
Now? Just because of your DAMN outing with your DAMN friends you're pissed with us? Not everyone can torlerate you okay. If you're in other teams, they might have told Mrs. Jacobs that you didn' t do anything! I ahte you for making my life so miserable. I treated you as a friend! Do you have to torture me?
I can jolly well mark you down cause YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING. READ IT ONCE AGAIN: YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING! Yes, you appeared for all the meetups. So what? What did you ever contribute? I'm fine if you were lost during the first few months, I understand, you miss lesson. You didn't do your part on accessibility, you didn't contribute a bit.. You slacked and rested at Qing's house. YOU moved our attention to something else, then we weren't constructive. Listen up, I CAN MARK YOU DOWN! I didn't see your effort nor anything. I'm serious.
I guess our friendship was just not strong enough. But it hurts to see your posts, really. I cried over spilt milk and felt that it was useless cause I think you hate me. Since you're sucha great faker. You hated M but you seem so good to her as if you people were Bestfriends. I wonder if you ever liked me. I feel so stupid crying for you. Maybe you always disliked me and wanted to 'leave' me long ago. Maybe you're laughing at my state now.
I HATE PROJECTS! >.<
It makes you see some people's true self, it breaks friendships. I broke two friendships due to various projects. And we're still longerheads.
You're still in my sweeties list. I couldn't bear to take you out.
Our personal msg both starts with "Do you know."
I'm sure we're listening to the same song now. Do You know? (The Ping Pong Song.)
I feel so stupid crying for you, maybe you hated me,
but I treated you as a friend, you can see I treat you differently right?
Why let such things bring down our friendship?
I'm surprised an apology couldn't solve this tweeny bit of problem.
Stop avoiding me! ): You'll still see me during tuition.
I'm amazed how I actually view blogs just to see if they mentioned about your unhappiness.
I'm shocked the way I'm still concerned about you.
I can't believe I'm actually listening to the songs you like.
Thanks qing and sher for being there for me. I'm feeling weak.
Sher: It's kinda weird how I'm talking to sher how I feel. I mean, I don't normally talk to her when I'm emo. But the only person I thought of when I couldn't get Qing, Esther and obviously Viv. I resorted to you. It's weird how two pissed girls are trying to comfort one another when they can't even handle themselves. thanks for being there.
Qing: Thanks too for being there. You're pissed too I know. But everytime I tell you my problem, you reply so damn slow. I don't wanna call you cause I don't want to. Talk to you also very pek cek, hahaha. Two pek cek people more pek cek.
Esther: Haiz, I don't know if I should msg you or not. ); I feel like I'm a irritating soul, you know. Aiyah. But I still do think of you. ;D
I need someone to talk to now. i don't want my mom to know anything. She'll scold me. ); Qing and Sher went to bed. I guess esther's sleeping too, at this time. );
I'm sooooo silly. I give up, I won't want to care about you anymore. It's the end of everything.
I thought of you twice today.
I'm starting to like English songs. ;D Hahaha, nono. Definately not hard rock type, it spoils my ear drum. Some songs are nice, but it's hard to find a nice one.
I'm uploading Guo Jing's album againnnn. ); Aiyoh. WHY EVERYTIME GOT PROBLEM ONE? Pfffst. I AM DAMN PISSED WITH IMEEEEEEM! Wahlah.
Had Interact Installation just now. It was borinnggggg. I was in charge of the ushering at main gain. So paiseh please, I asked 3 adults who weren't actually going for the damn installation. We stalked their cars lah. Brrrr. There were interactors from ACS, Pei Cai, Everygreen and other unknown schools, haha. How come ACS got girl one? ;/ Hmmmm, someone answer my question? lol.
I feel like cutting my hair short. As in SHORT meaning you don't have to tie. Hmmmm, I had short hairs every since I was born till Sec 1. Cause the weather is so hot and I think that long hairs are hard to manage. Pfffst, for example: You need to tie in school. Then it'll show a obvious line when you let it down. Will I look okay with short hair? Imagine everyone, hahaha. My cuzzie said that "Long hair makes people look old." I wonder.
Maybe if you have heart attack, don't even try reading my post from now onwards. ;D
I saw Koh Mei Chin & Mrs Soh running for the buses! (Bus Service 62) *Jaws dropped* Horrible scene to see. I boarded the same bus as her and she stood infront of me. They found a seat, they sat and sherminh told me something shocking.
FYI: SM has been boasting that she's gonna watch Harry Potter on Sunday!
SM: I'm going to meet a cuteeee guy on sunday.
SHIQI: Oh. (Gosh, you damn flirt.)
SHIQI: OH, is it the one you call every morning?
SM: Yah. He's so tall lah, wth. *Rolls eyes* Like so many people in our school know him. You know blossom? It's his friend's cousin and Rachel...
SM: leng chang.
SHIQI: HAHAHA, oh. What's his name ah?
SM: Jeremiah or something.
SHIQI: (WTH, meeting him still don't know his name.) How you know him de?
SHIQI: Oh I see (Cheapo. If you ever get together with him, I think you're super deperate.)
Cute guy wanna go out with her, siaooo. 99% the guy wanna toy her feelings/ 97% the guy edit his picture to look cute/ 100% the guy got bad taste.
I know you all wanna die already. ;D hahaha. stupid despo.
SM told me once that "My relationships never pass 3 months lor. Like some curse." (She copy Wei Xiao Pasta lah. Wlao. 3 months.) That must be cause the guy thinks that she sucks after knowing her real well. ;D Walao, that time Qing was talking about bringing out money to go out with her bf, then SM said to me "Go out with boys still need to bring money?" Wlao. She expect them to pay everything ah? She high maintainance one lor. No wonder no one like her. So fat but like to wear until like that somemore. No way I'll go out with her lah. Eeeeewwww. People will relate me with her, and that's awful. And she seriously needs braces.
Whooooeeeeeee. I just received a call from mumsie. I'm going to watch Harry Potter this saturday night ! Hahaha, booohooo. Earlier than you sherminh! YES. That's my whole point. Hmph & tsk. I watch it before you! HAHAHAHAHA. I CAN BOAST, but I won't. I'm not like you. All I want to do is watch it before you. Fooolstop.
This week is exercise weeeek!
Tuesday: Morning Run.
Wednesday: PE cum Dance lessons.
Thursday: One hour of standing, lol. (ushering)
My body is aching like mad already. Ache somemore ache somemore! ;D More aches means more toned up muscles! Oh YAY! Qing's finally online, but she isn't bothering about me lah. Stupid. Tv more important than me meh? ): I missed my shows ALOT of times just to go out with her and talk to her online, why can't she? ARGH, I think I'm pmsing. I am so unsatisfied with everything now. I've got loads to tell you, but you choose to watch the damn television. Damn it, i'm crying now. Ah, the tears keep dropping. ); Stupid emo song to blame plus qing. GRRRRRRRRRRR.
I wanna sue Channel 5 and Utt and Incredible Tales for stealing my Best Friend awayyyyyy!
I don't like it when someone snatches my bestfriend away. I know I'm selfish. I'm sorry.