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AFFAIR.
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“ confessions ”
Monday, October 6 |9:50 PM

PS: I am going to be quite opened about the issue in this post. This is not about me ranting about V(told you can't be bothered with her anymore) but more about my how it has affected me and the people around me.

I'm sorry , I didn't know my ignorance towards will cause you so much trouble. ):

I didn't mean to put you in the spot. But I really emphatise your situation because you've did nothing wrong, yet you've been wronged by for stealing away her friend(s). Sighs. I do not wish to talk to her because I am unhappy with the way she treats you & many other issues, ie: being too selfish/domineering/jealous/unreasonable. I feel sorry for you because you've been blamed for the slightest things ie: talking to us.

THAT IS WHY I'VE BEEN IGNORING/AVOIDING HER THESE DAYS.

However it is apparent that doesn't want to admit about these facts. She chose to blame it on someone else. And you are one of them.

I'm so sorry that I've brought this upon you. I'm so sorry that I've dragged you in this. And I know you get frustrated at times too. I am not just close to you during this period of time because I was pissed with . I did not take you as a spare tire, I hope you know that. (: It's just that whenever I'm in good terms with her, I will think of her feelings, that is why I tend to give in more to her and not you(because she is a tough character) as she will definitely be angry I do some things with you and not her. During this period of time, I haven't been paying attention to her and thus I can just take and do things openly with you. In the past, I had to be conscious of her feelings... but now I've decided to keep a distance from her, so yes, it appears that I am closer to you and that I can openly make more friends.

I know you felt guilty because you thought that I wasn't talking to her because I was talking to you. I just want to let you know that it isn't your fault. The whole not-talking-to-vivien thing has nothing to do with you. (: Even if it has, it's just like 10%, before you there has been a lot of things happening already.

I heard you saying that you were scared to be close to me and qing because you didn't want to hate you. Sighs, I really do not know how to handle the situation now. I do not want you to be hated by Tell me what's wrong with making friends? ;/ I don't understand what's the fuss about.

I really do not wish to lose you as a friend because of her, please do not avoid me. ): I felt it today already, it's terrible.

Everytime when we're in a group, she isn't able to tell me anything because I have this barrier... Why? Because they are all scared that will hate them for talking to me. Yes, unfortunately that is true. But is the best, because she and already has some conflict, that's why she isn't scared to be hated by lol.

I find that it's hard for me to even talk to anyone in the group because I do not want them to get involved in this whole thing. But it hard just not to talk to anyone.

If this continues, I may not be even to have any friend, everyone is going to avoid me because of Vivien. Arghhhhhh.

Totally lost now. The situation is getting worst. I hear the comments by different people everyday, telling me about the complaints she made. I get pissed and unhappy because she is telling different people in the clique different things. Telling different people that she hates different people. I wonder if our friendship is true, since there's so much backstabbing here and there now. It's so hard to trust you now.

If you label others as the 'third' (fourth actually) party, then what about you? You are just about the same as them. You cut into. But did we say anything about you? You can, others cannot? lol. We invited you in and happily let you join our world, can't you just give others a chance?

You understand what it feels to be lonely and ignored and blamed, spare a thought for others? ;/

I'm so sorry for anyone whom I've brought trouble to. ): I really didn't mean it.

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